Happiness

I realized that I am happy where I stand. I realized that I can easily adjust to my surroundings, both because my past experiences made it easy for me and because I really need to. I have this feeling that I will genuinely love my next five years in Ateneo. But the present aside, I also realized that there is really no other thing like high school.

Yesterday I paid a visit to my friends in UPD. Now, I wasn't really the type of person who had a normal high school experience. I was always excused from classes, so I wasn't really there during intense bonding moments. Honestly, there were a lot of things (and a lot of people) to regret. Though I was a friend to almost everyone, I didn't really feel that I had a permanent clique aside from Denise and Monica. This is why I was a bit overwhelmed when my ex-classmates gave me a huge welcome and a lot of I-miss-you's. It felt as if we were all super close before. Yesterday I realized that we all value our high school lives and preserve the best of what our memories hold. And in those moments where I was conquered by those emotions, my regrets were all instantly forgotten. High school became this heavier and warmer place in my heart. I knew then that these were the faces I would remember forever.

Don't get me wrong, of course I still enjoy where I am right now. Still, I'm terrified of the future. Especially in this path I chose. Intimidation might get the best of me. I'm afraid I will do more stupid things. I'm afraid of rejection and failure. Ewan, ang labo nga ng blog post na 'to eh. I guess I'm just saying that I'm beginning to value the past just because it IS already in the past. I remember everything I had and everyone I met. And it just sort of sucks to have to do it all over again. Hopefully though, I'll be more mature this time. I won't be one to regret anymore. I'll use my head and intuition and a lot more common sense.

Takte. Ang random lang talaga.

I hope I meet more awesome people with whom I can comfortably be myself with for the next few years. College, be good to me. :))